Twilight DVD Commentary

A lot can be learned from listening to the painful commentary on the Twilight DVD.

1. Catherine Hardwicke is one of the most annoying people of all time. Catherine is 54 years old but tries to speak like the young actors she works with. You'd think that could be endearing, that she is young at heart and all that junk, but no. It just comes off as unprofessional and painfully annoying.

2. Robert Pattinson is funny. That guy is a crackup. It's slightly uncomfortable to listen to his ramblings and off beat humor without the accompaniment of facial expressions and hand gestures but he seems like a genuinely nice, goofy guy.

3. K Stew can laugh! My irrational hatred for Kristen Stewart softened considerably listening to her laugh, joke, and be embarrassed as she watched herself onscreen. It made me happy to see that she is not in fact an emotionless drone who is too cool for school and in fact a seemingly nice regular teenage girl.

4. Melissa Rosenberg is not to blame. There are a few lines in Twilight that truly make me cringe. Whenever I hear them I shudder and curse Melissa Rosenberg for her stupidity. I see now that I was cursing the wrong person. According to the commentary, we have Catherine Hardwicke to thank for the following lines...
- "Better hang on tight spider-monkey"
- "My monkey man"
Gag! These lines were added while filming because Catherine thought the scene need a little something. What is it with her and monkeys? Catherine, a tip for your next project: Let the writer do their job and you just stick to directing.

5. I am SO glad we get a new director for New Moon. I am looking forward to seeing what Chris Weitz has in store for us in the sequel. I am also looking forward to the next commentary lacking Hardwicke's annoying voice, stupid comments, and uncomfortable putdowns of the actors.