Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Mommy Blog equals GAG!

I hate a lot of things. Peas, cats, the smell of skunk, hangnails, Lady Gaga, roaches, people who are overly cheery, Wheaties... you get the idea. But today I especially loath the Mommy Blog.

The carefully crafted illusion of pure joy and family perfection induces vomiting faster than a speeding finger down the throat. You know the blogs I'm talking about. They contain "About Me" sections with phrases like...

"Billy and I have been married for 4 amazing years and are as happy as peas and carrots"

"Baby Caden is super precious and we love him times 10 and he loves to make everyone laugh"

And if that's not enough to get the bile flowing... the nonstop posts filled with pictures of kids, spotless rooms, homemade desserts, and how super sweet hubby is to take your giant diamond wedding ring in to be cleaned... is sure to do it.

Why do I hate these blogs so much?

1. They have taken the once painful annual Christmas letter and multiplied if by 365.
2. They are boring. If you are my friend I want to read blogs about what you are thinking about, not blogs about how Timmy is the smartest kid in his preschool class.
3. They have become required reeding. I hate when I see you at church and I ask how the homeschooling is going you say "Didn't you read my post about how Nicholas is the state spelling bee champ?!"
4. They are FAKE. I don't want to see you trying to be June Cleaver. I know that is not real life and all it does is make you look like a one dimensional, plastic, Holly Housewife.

So please post something interesting and real next time. I may be trying to loose weight but bulimia is not the way I want to do it.

- Smarty Pants


  1. Anonymous6/02/2009

    Ditto!! Can't STAND those especially when I know damn good and well that said perfect couple is in marriage counseling and hate each other :) That's why I try to be as ronchy as I can in my blog! hee, hee.


  2. Heh, well come on over for a true bitchfest, and I promise you will never hear about rainbows and kittens. Ironically, mine is called The Mommy Blog, which is kind of a joke. It's like being the Cell Phone Blog or The Kleenex Blog. They're everywhere and mostly insipid, but there are a few good, snarky ones out there if you look!

  3. The sad thing is that there are really people out there who eat, breath, drink, and live their marriage and children 24/7. They honestly don't have anything else to blog about. They don't have original thoughts... so they are left to blog about how many times timmy puked in their cheap knock-off handbag by the simple fact that they have nothing else of value to say.