1. When the receptionist comes into work late and giving me random excuses that I know are lies I picture myself holding an open flame next to her brittle, badly highlighted hair.
2. I left in a rush today and forgot to brush my teeth. The gum is not working well enough.
3. I think Jimmy Fallon is sexier than Brad Pitt.
4. Hubby and I didn't use very good judgement this week and now I have to go buy prenatal vitamins just in case. Ooops.
5. I think leggings are one of the ugliest current fashion trends. If I see an adult wearing them I automatically make not so nice judgments about them. Mean I know but I can't help it. I hate them with a passion.
6. When I was newly married I pawned most of my possessions to pay the rent.
7. When I was a kid I peed in the pool several times. Don't lie, so did you.
8. My toes itch. Can you get athletes foot if all you do is sit at a desk every day?
9. Teenagers today are crazy. I'm glad that part of my life is over. If I was a teenager now I'd probably be emo. The non cutting my wrists kind anyway. I think I'd like to wear stick straight ragged black hair and a pound of eyeliner.
Shhh don't tell anyone.
-Smarty Pants
Just found your site and love it! The receptionist at our office has brittle hair too. And she wears barrettes. It's weird, disturbing and fascinating all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteOH my! This is hilarious. And you're so on about Jimmy Fallon - I wish more boys were taught that if you make a girl laugh, she's yours.
ReplyDeleteMy two boys will know.
Found you via SiTS - welcome!! Em