Monday, April 20, 2009

Better Body Journey

Do you remember when you first decided you were fat?  I do.  I was in 7th grade.  I'd just had yet another growth spurt and reached what I deemed "freakish height".  5 foot 8 inches doesn't seem so bad now but at 13 I was taller than every boy in school and taller than all my teachers.  I spent a lot of time slouching and generally trying to appear shorter.  There was one girl my same height and she was a beast of a girl.  The broadest shoulders I'd ever seen and legs that could snap a grown man in half.  I remember thinking she would fit in better on a mens rugby team then in middle school.   She was the top player on all our sports teams and she seemed full of confidence.  I assumed that since I was her same height I must look like that too.  From that point on, anytime I saw my 5'8'' 118 lb body in the mirror all I could think was "FAT!!!"  

Sad, silly, stupid, naive... It's a shame we find it so easy to focus on what we see as negatives about ourselves yet are completely oblivious to our positive attributes.  I sure wish I could quote those stats now.  I'm a bit taller and a lot heavier.  But reality has never had much to do with my body image.  Until recently that is...  

After my first 2 children I was back to a respectable size fairly quickly.  Not skinny, but healthy and able to endure a shopping trip for clothes without being reduced to tears.  Then I started a new job and went back to school full time in the evenings.  The stress brought with it weight gain.  Still, I was okay with how I looked.  Then came pregnancy #3.  I did a respectable job of keeping my pregnancy weight gain in a health zone and was more than happy to deal with the extra weight if it meant a new addition to our family!

Flash forward 4 months from delivery.  Here I am weighing more than mid-pregnancy, even more than when I left the hospital with my baby.  With school soon to be behind me I feel I have the time and mental energy needed to focus on getting my body back on track.  And with physical activity with the kiddos become increasingly more difficult, I have ample motivation.

It's important to me to not let my journey to a healthier body be an overpowering presence at home.  I don't want the idea of the importance of weight being in the forefront of my young daughters mind.  If she's like me or half the other girls in the world she will be facing that all to soon as it is.

On the advise of my sister-in-law I will be making my "Better Body Journey" with the help of Dr. Simeon's Pounds and Inches Weight Loss Protocol.  This system requires an extremely controlled diet and the use of the HCG hormone.  I have ordered my supplies and will be starting in the next couple of weeks.  I will be documenting my progress along the way and passing along all the things I'm bound to learn.  If I get daring I may just include some pics of my progress.  I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have any experience with the HCG diet.  

Wish me luck on my "Better Body Journey"! 

No comments:

Post a Comment